Crystal vs Nirmal

Crystal Vs. Nirmal

Poetry Collection



BY

Nirmal Kumar Thapa











Deathless Death

After born in this planetYour first crying/shout demands joyEven you have not senseYou demands horrific tearsJust for meaningless.I know the deep means of your cryingPerhaps, you may afraid with deathUnknowinglyFrom the cradle to the graveFrom mischief children to mystic oldFrom red ray to strong pale rayI know your concernedHow to surviveHow to remain safeHow to remain secureAnd where are you going?Towards grave!You can’t catch the allAll your security, safeties are leading you to the graveBefore the grave comesHave a little dance forget your being nessAnd existence-too meaninglessIf you couldn’t have danceNo realization feels the ice-cold of graveYou miss the great songs of lifeYou must dance before to go deep-sleepThat’s why you must dance before to go graveA dance without songs and musicFrom your silence-worldYou may bring own ness musicThat music be a far away from Beethoven’sA divine music of Cosmo-flute.
But such silenceIs hard to keep at a singleWhile you lived silentlyIt brings totality, intenselyThen you know at that very momentA death of deathlessnessGrave will came but death will notIf you lived totallyHas gone deep enough into himselfWill also reach the graveYou will miss the eternal principle of lifeThe real joy of lifeYou gone just alike a simply dieAs utter with tearsYou surprised with meYou don’t lose your own joyYou feel it with sitting silentlyDeath comes as a normal guestYou most welcomed and celebrateFor ultimate challenge of the unknownEnter in death with silent songThen death is no moreTake it as a sutraA mantraA like OM MANE PADME HUMSATYEM SHIVAM SUNDARAMAnd keep it own inner spaceWhere your beloved one has placedLive dangerously with wild-wisdomLike mineLaughter becomes without jokeA great joke laughs on meBirth is nothing but just a source of passionThat passion reunion with next passionThat called deathAhhh…LIFE, itself a great jokeA journey towards cosmic wayOnly White clouds hide meBecause all color of desires come from whiteMay be it puzzled me from far agoThese verse are the prove of my madnessAlthough I have no fear of death like yoursYes I already stand with deathMy loneliness and you make meMore mystic… walks upon dead bodyAt the midnight with lonely moonIm stand with hungerThat may called a deathNo it should be big letterDEATHA black art on the night canvas. -8th sept-2007


Thankless Tear

I have never thanked to parents for the body bornTheirs combine effort to carry me hereAt this very momentFrom senseless to sense nessTheirs service to me is beyond wordsIt is useless to thank themIt cannot be deep enough of respectTheirs bless with me like a shadowBe trueI surprised at that poor momentWhile I wish for anythingBefore I can think itthey know my need and send me from BAKUWA
I have not thanked themHow can I thank?There is no way.
At that very moment of pain and happinessMy tears utterly rolling downOn the feet of unseen parentsAnd connecting with themWhom I loved muchSometime, I realized to my tearsAre just as beautiful flowersBlooming with season and dying out as seasonsLike circle of seasons - Basanta and SaradTears and smiles are whirling and disappearing into meA body itself seeds of bothAlike two eyes and handsYes add again my parentsThey are the most oneWho seeds me into the clay of sense?Obviously,I feel some majestic smileWhile I recall theirs memoryFrom the soundless frameUtterly they sent meFair blesses by the windsWith love and gratitude.My thankless tears always dropped in to theirs feetI know im a cozy path of theirs highway.
-4th sept-2007

Echoes of Pagal

The very beauty of music can keep one rootedIt was just between this and thatI was only thisI heard music during the rainingBut only to keep myself too rootedI love myself more than youBut I want to create a home for the parentsAnd by certificate I want to create new links to friendsAnd others for my dear and nearI walked useless pathBut I had no way for own selfMy all efforts for othersFrom chair to dearI miss a lot of thing of own nessIt may be a punishment for birthAmong the so-called dearsEven I know they all were nothingBut they carry me as a precious thing a brain-childAnd hope many things what they can’t dreamed at allIn other words im just like a dollA modern Chinese doll who can laugh and talk
They want to meI must be make a new historyI must be create something newIn fact I hate history to sayI dreamed but couldn’t makeMy dream becomes reality.I told them when they push me for many thingsYou all are the fortunate to be with a person who stands with you and doing your job for fulfillment your own desiresIn reality you all are the unfortunate for that I’m the person who have flute without holes.By this personal flute only I could enjoy not youYou all are just barriers of mineYou just know my body presenceBut I realized my own being presenceMy being still alive for ever but you all were miss meBeing cannot be born again and againIts not alike bodyBeing is matter of eternalNever born never diesSo lets take knowledge with my mad wordsWelcomed you allFrom my parents to friendsAll nearer and dearsBe ready to stand with meDon’t push me for anythingPlease forgive mefor my own freedom
-4th sept-07

Darkness

Darkness comeThere was no moonClouds hide the starsEverything is disappearedThe mountains, the birdsAnd my own bodyThe night was quite and silenceThere was hardly soft windI couldn’t even ground myself in soundI seemed to be floating in pureAbstract blacknessAnd black mirror of the pastI kept my eyes fixedOn where I thought the past wasMy ears awake with warm-waveSome sign of far- criedI couldn’t imagine lasting the nightMy ears were conscious and I heard a repeated knocking soundIt came from the other end of the skyI heard a wit sounds of mythAnd watchMy sweet blacknessOnly full of fearsOh! Just like my past soul mate.
-17th December 2006



Madman at the Temple

One day a man came to meAn ask-Do you believe in God?He has surprised to seen me before at PashupatiI simply answered himNoIt’s not about godBecause I know godlinessI have god-realization with manyOn the way of stoned ladder to MirgasthaliBeautifully crafting temples architectureHumbleness of the all kingsWho added gold in templeon the name of goddance of blackbuckMonkey’s mischiefsAnd others tooAttract me for welcomedBut the man who ask mesuch question known mefrom long agoas –“who have no any sympathy for god “but how could he regular in here,
He thinks I lie to him
These all things carry me herefrom my cozy hermitagebut plated Nirmal NiwasI just a being like eagleAlthough I have two legs except wingsNo matterI can flight with my desires as I wantBut the poor man never understand meAbout my presence of Pashupati at anytime
I’m no more hereMy eagle ness goes on faraway skiesMy eagle spirit only knows about god!My being known the alones of heightsThe silence of heightsAlthough among the worshipperAnd other barriers can’t stop my flightThe danger of heights indicate to meWhere is the go?My Everest consciousness only knows the god.I forget to speak out more as I wantThe man disappearedPerhaps –he has been realized thatIm the most fool man on this small Nepalof course I am
The dance of monkeysMake me again as a mad dancerTo listen early bird songsI feel deep reliefBut he neverThe man who ask me questionHe knows me far fromBut afraid to ask meAt today he accumulateBut he must feel some dirt’swith my idiotic answers
always I repeated my walks as samejust around outside of templeI left behind to enters templeBut I have remembrances about poor priest of templeHis red-nose smile flattering with prassads and dachinaHis hands seems as latest electro-deviceThese all visionary things are poor then upstairs scandalsThat’s why I sue to walk around the temple
In second day when I meet again the same manNow he looks me as old enemyEven I don’t thief his wifeThen I simply smiled upon his so-called wiseAwakened-manFrom your muddy worldYour muddy water for the lotusmy poor fellowAwake……and awake…..And prepare to flight as eaglewith dangerouslyWithout knowing dangerNo one growsOn the adventure of spiritWhile the eagle goes highest in to the skyFlies across the sunYou may realizedYour inner self is immortal and god is thereWithout holding a hell or heavenIts not about a seen of ladyWho walks with dog in the evening is hereThe joy always belongs only to few courageous soulsyou may oneim already frightenedNow your turnGet ready for flightWith out preparation
Because God never desire from own childrenNor he has aspects from youGo ahead for ultimate oneWho am i?Reflect your own question towards own mirrorThen you know who are you?
-6th-sept-07

Walker / Traveler

The sweetest melody of divine musicWith the naked wire of BinaPassion to thief smiles of lotusMerciful desire to dissolveOf yellow flower of mustardsWind carries me with the wing of passionate loveOn clouds of desiresRolling me with faithI’m the great one who have single total freedomFar behind blue sky and eagle kissed each otherMoments and momentMy pleasure only dance among the nude ray of sunWhen virgin ray bite me I feelThat same –as clouds and eagles in my early morningWindow opens own heart andPale rays found me on bedWith half-awakened eye
My journey has no destinyNor any pathI’m a pathless travelerAfter acrosses to many voyages of aimsPoor earth cannot survive meThat’s why I choose itWind is my directorNo matterWhere I’m goingWind carries to me as my own loving motherRed rays shows me the wayFrom source –real sourceI surrender with godFor my deep passion to walk upon divine surface.
-2nd sept-2007

After You

My tragedy beginsFrom the moment I know to herThe boundless gift is too heavy to bearI had left far-behindThe face of the mirrorEnjoyed water of Fewa & Fishtail mountainLotus & the roses Are no longerAfter your steep towards meI’m no moreJust bone-masterOn the name of bonny-flowerBlooms on your angerI forget my smile before to mirrorAfter youI’m no moreI beg to you my alonesA silence worldWithout word just having emotionsAnd passions fro divine oneThat’s not youMy destiny was somewhereNot to upon youBut everything changed After youForgive my wordsI myself cant to do with live wordsSo in my mischiefSpeaks out by the wordsWhat you never understood
Its for my dear readerThey are my friendsWhile I feel some new on heartApart from you
…At the very end of (his) long-effort measured by sky less space & time without depth.Melancholies rise in man’s heart
After the call of happinessBecame together with oneness. -26th sept.2007




Higher Order

When you know yourself only through contentYou will also thinkYou know what is good or badYou differentiate between eventsThose are good for meAnd those are bad This is a fragmented perceptionOf the wholeness of lifeIn which everything is interconnectedIn every event has its necessary placeAnd function within the totalityHowever, is more than the surface appearance?More than the sum totalMore than whatever your lifeOr the world contains.I remembered the beautiful express,The Zen saying-“The snow falls, each flake in its appropriate place“We can never understandThis high-order through thinking We think about it content Whereas, the higher order emanatesFrom the formless realm of consciousnessFrom universal intelligenceBut we can glimpse it And more than thatAlign ourselves with itBe conscious participants in the unfolding of that higher purpose.Than you may realizes the secrete thingsA like early birds songs from the boundless skyJust echoes of self-realizationFor the single oneYes I have the places to live with smileWith the full of laughAmong the so-called modern-world. -12th Nov,’07



A Dream-Finding Who You Truly Are

Gnothi Seauton- Know ThyselfOn last nights dreamAbove the entrance of my third eyeThese words were dancing until end of night I borrowed these wordsIn fact these words were inscribedAbove the entrance to the temple of Apollo at DelphiSite of the sacred OracleLikely that most visitors read those words As they entered the building Without realizing that they pointed To a deeper truth than anythingSlightly my knowing beingVanished at the midnightThird eye indicates to the cosmic-world Where few masters were busy with own disciple But I’m quite farI may not have realized that how great a revelation OrHow accurate the information I receivedIt would ultimately prove to be of no availWould not save me from further unhappinessAnd self-created sufferings I’m STOP at that moment While someone knock my 3rd eye regularlyIn that very moment I realizedI may failed to find the truthWhere my cosmic eye knock to meSuddenly I’m back to myselfAnd enter the empire of ApolloWhere my dear words leave behind“Gnothi Seauton”Know ThyselfThe most fundamental question of my life : Who am I ? -12th nov.2007

GOD

To know GodIt is difficult as to making a bridge in ocean… But not impossible Will take enough troubleTo remove that difficultyAll other difficulties of lifeWill vanishedUnless we see godWe cannot know anythingIt’s a like sunBefore the sun comesWe can see nothing This NOTHING will removeWhen the sun comesWe see everythingThis EVERYTHING isA spark of consciousnessWe all are covered by this simple convictionBut God is beyond Consciousness…Forget this consciousnessA momentYou will see GodBefore the sun comesAfter the sun goesIn a flash!You will see GodOn the presence of God We knew everythingGet ready to knockFor the godly-doorLets together we should move our hands for the single.Although the God is not far from youNor we can achieve it with unity It’s a path of selfFor the revelation of God. - 31st, Oct, 07

You

From far agoI blessed from youFro the live with ultimate individual
And could remount the jewels of lifeMy futile journey to walk for long pilgrimageFor celebration, dance and musicBut they all were not asides meEven your grace with me
And it chased away my nessEveryday of my life is absurd and fruitlessAlthough I was according to youAnd did the same as coammanded by youJust for that oneTo read and pull off certificateTo me it’s like a worthless job, a hallow step Obviously it defeated meAnd ruined all my routineHow can I console myself to live?Poor my being still under the painAnd only tears were the friends of mine At the time of late deep-nightA moment of full-moon smiled upon meI’m am worried with own selfHaving myriad of desires and secretes hopeWill just put down on meA helpless man awake from the state And called a poet A small poet from the small land of NepalHardly you can pointed inside the huge globe It has no own identity exceptBirth place of Sidhatrtha the GautamaAnd the Mount EverestBut I stand with more than thatI have my own identity & existence With individually I want to surviveWith lonely…in the world of man less planetYou the all to myself is too enough And I’m different than youOf course still you forced meFor the same repetition what is just worthless…to attain the fame full lifeTo gain the so-called popularityMore than ordinary others“You must be a unique”!I respect to all of youAnd your grace to me is pricelessBut I’m stressed by youPlease forgive me & my wordsSmall poet only can keepOwn irregular words on versePerhaps you may surprisedTo know it, my mad echo’sPlease understand me.
I’m no more but emotionless And no one else commanded myself except meI was the king of to myselfYou always prohibited to enters in my worldWhere I’m just alone with silenceIt’s my empire not for youSo from now you all stop to command meYour command has made me futileTo ruled me, I’m is enoughI’m my single empireI’m on the stage of flight for white skyWhere I’m just alone not your forceSelf-invented wing carry me for the land of freedomWhere I’m just aloneAnd there I sing my first song It’s called last song of my lifeYour visual body was gone away But my being is stand with truth andSmiled from the beyond …on cosmic worldWhere I’m just alone not youForgive me my dearsAnd realize my aim for the real ONE. 28th sept,07

Empiric Reality (The reality can test by experience)

On the name of BuddhaThey were busyFor yogic practiceA huge white bowl still with silence From long ago more than thousands of yearsThere two half awakened eyesAre same and still cheeringWith same empathic deep sight towards the visitors And I sent my ray to themI knew they are Buddhist And doing a practice com passion
Touching the Earth
I found in theirs forehead Some mystical delightsAnd full of love, compassion & equanimityDuring the practice they have touch the Earth deeplyAlike towards surrender with own dear motherBy two legs, two hands, forehead & perfectly whole bodyAllowing transcending themselvesTo see them feel magic, a pride and notionsAnd enter the world of things as they areI celebrate myselfTo see upon themI realized my own inner-most secretAnd returned to childhoodWhere I live without knowing, with emptyAnd had a smile of GodlinessI’m not a just seer I joined with themWho are still doing same practice?On the name of BuddhaWhere are only love, joy and compassion?We were together without separate selfIn front of the StupaA yellow sun becoming a redBut I seen a flower on the edge of curio shopEven flower cannot exist as a separate, independent selfIt is made entirelyThe flower is a “non-elements”Im made of non-me elementsNothing can exist by itself alone We both are togetherWe don’t have separate selvesSlightly some dove were appearsWith them I changed myself and flew awayOm comes from the far-distanceSounding like a my own mothers callAll the ten direction are full with the echoes of OmA real name, a real voiceOnly truths left behind the history of manhood“Om”A sound of creation First & last word of God.These monks and nuns are still there having same practice While I opened my eyesI’m not the sameI fail to spot and lose the jewelsMy short-past moments carry me on the godly empireAnd we traveled togetherTo attain the ultimate oneThanks all of you on the name of BuddhaI want to recall themFrom the Aastika (a prophet, fellow of Suddhodhan.) to Aananda( a beloved disciple of Gautama)Om Mane Padhme Hum…The lotus and the jewel both togetherFrom mud world to the cave Where have a Gods sounds and his graceOm mane padhme humBuddham Sharanam GachhamiNaman to the all wise people. -28th Sept,’07

Relation behind the words

To pray you open your whole self To sky, to earth, to sun to moonTo one whole voice that is youAnd know there is moreThat you can’t see, can’t hearCan’t know except on momentsSteadily growing, and in languagesThat isn’t always sound but otherCircles of motionsLike smoke that everydayOver the Bagmati river, circled in blue skyIn wind, swept our heart cleanAnd have desire to knownShould pray for dew drops of realnessStand between face-to-faceWith hungry compassion I see youSee ourselves and knowThat we must take the utmost careAnd kindness in all thingsBreathe in, knowing we are made of All this, and breathe, knowingWe are truly blessedBecause we were born and know each otherAnd die soon within a true circle of motionLike smoke rounding out the whole day inside us For the name of reward of lifeAnd meaning folds here I pray that it will be doneIn beauty, in love, without emotionJust stand opposed between each otherAnd should recall your own nessAnd feel utterly the real motion of beingsWhere we are? At this vary moment Behind the wordsHaving the fake mask for real oneBe conscious with present where we areWho bless us to unknown grace, with unknowingly?As a sailors who has loss compassAnd thinking to go for the sunWhere winds may carry onWe are no moreCrack out this darkness and awake from the unknownOf course bouquet of rosesAnd smile of full moon waiting youGive hands of thanks with humbly Who grace to this all. -29th sept.07

Answer

A fool ask me Are you like a mad?I respect him and answeredWith chilly IDIOT!Fool is so soft towards meAnd smiled with elegantly And start to walk ahead in own way.
I surprised & see himSlowly he seems quite far from me And later he was no more Nor his sign of presence But, after his gone I received humblenessO! What a great replied without wordsMy gratitude changed into humiliation What a wonderful answered without wordOh great job! with great mannersThank full job.In my dictionary have no words to respect himAlthough, I’m a mad as his saying.

Realization

The world is either flat or roundDepending on the point of viewConsider the world is neither flat nor roundThink again, think says dream, as it makes a house for my parentsThink, says fire as it re-enact the nearest starBetween them is a small subject of meaning In which there is no word for shameThere is incredible depth to every grain of sand to every nuance of creatureEvery gesture in the known an unknown universeMatter has converse weight in antimatter Destruction creation in the shell of a little house were father and daughterI try to appear as the savvy traveler Look smooth and inconspicuous in this knowledgeLeave it, I said slightly more to myself than to anyoneAnd water trembling with lightMy beloved disappears in to the deepI can see lover thereAt the edge of the world I was surprised by the sweet embrace Of the perfume of desert after the rainOf the seen of Everest after the sunThrough after all these seasonsI shouldn’t be surprisedNothing I can singWill bring you backNeither the songs of early dews nor the full moon musicUntil the became sunNot the personal song of the rain Who makes love to the earth?Your nakedness and precious smileWith warm touch at deep nightI will never forgetEven you left behindHorizon recalls our togetherness and own nessA marvelous moment of my youthAgain the sky has ordered to horizon For defend my formative days.All of these thingsFrom my tears to cheerful momentHusky full nights and secrete gamesAll were recallThe ruins and the smile at once upon a timeAt right nowWhere we are under the same skyWith tears & smileA worth choice for TO LIVE together. -20th sept,07

Cycle

With the smile on his lipsGod realization…Wonderful ageless eyesGreat pilgrimage was endedWith the same child-like eyeAnd Godly smile…Before he has laying on bed for deep-sleepLotus closed own hands & legsBefore the spring get nearerHow can I forget such brilliant look and presence? After you-My journey starts from there Where your Great Pilgrimage was ended?-29th July, 07



Haiku

Ahhh…Red roseWhat a wonderIt beatitudes me A just nightmare. --------------Every morning gives birth to the sun And, I dieIn both Day & nights.……………………..Living togetherFighting each otherThe joy of married lifeOrEcstasy of wedded-fruit.………………………Black roses bloom on your heartland But I'm redThe sun smiles on me and blesses.


Surprise
Once when I was going by my friend’s gardenI heard a springless sparrow saying “Please Sir never come here again, for onece is enoughSo I welcomed you in my heaven “ Then I spoke - “Sorry! Whats the matter to came here its my friends garden not yours!”Again sparrow replied - “I cannot fly away as the other bird,Is here im living with rejoice fully And I shall afraid to flyWho knows, some day, if u opened me and ordered to out “Then I moved from thereIn search for another sparrowBut still my hand were nakedAnd heart will be nude Perhaps, it’s a cause of that sparrow Who afraid to fly Sparrow’s shadow is so vastThat I cannot trace itHis omnipresent rise in my sleepIn every nightReality that –The sparrow were crushed my heartNow my silence call to himFor the shake of soulBird vs manA noteable joke.

God - No – I’m

In my childhoodI had hope to meet GodMore like personAnd had make a question to ask“Hello““How are you? ““I have been looking for you for thousands of years”?To him,But laterAt the end of childhoodI don’t see that there is any GodWho created the world?I certainly experienceA quality of godlinessIn existenceIt is a qualityNot a personAs my childhood thoughtWhat passion to meet to GodIt’s like loveMore like silenceMore like joyLess like a personMy search of God ended hereWith this conclusionGod is not a personBut only a presenceI can go on listening According to my own conditioningGod is a presenceAt the innermost core of my own beingIt is my own presenceNow I have no patience to meet GodAll the quest have vainestMy experience saysI, Myself a GodAnd have no hopes to meet anybodyWho created the worldExcept myselfFrom Nirmal to CrystalA bit journeyBut big achievementTo know GodNot outwardlyBut insideWhere the shadow of knowingness Dancing, rejoicing and celebrating Oh, I know myself.